Soca Deals with COVID

Soca is obviously a dog endowed with godly features. She is Laelaps, the dog gifted by Zeus to some other Greek mythological character—I had always thought Artemis, but apparently it is not so. The point is that Zeus gave Soca the power to catch whatever she chooses to hunt, and then Zeus gifted Soca to the Halff family. But Zeus was a bit more prophetic. Zeus not only gave Soca super hunting abilities, he also gave her immunity against the upcoming COVID pandemic. This was very thoughtful of him and we are very grateful, but if he had also thought about giving Soca a divine digestive system, that would have been lovely because sometimes a stringy poop doesn’t quite want to leave it’s cozy home, and with one foot out the door and one still inside, it kind of dangles and Soca is completely at a loss for what to do and we must come to her aid with a bag-covered hand…

Soca was thus safe from COVID. If anything COVID seemed to her a kind of special holiday when more friends were around with more time on their hands to go on adventures. It was only during that period of time when seemingly random COVID rules were being thought up and implemented with lightening speed, that Soca first felt something was decidedly off. This was the fateful day the dog park was closed.

I can only guess as to why closing the dog park was deemed a major COVID precaution: being that bars had already been closed, certain dog park frequenters of the human variety would come daily, at a set time, with folding chairs, a case of beers, and appropriately aggressive dogs. One of these dogs, a husky named Green (the husky’s name is actually Blue, but to protect its identity we will call him Green), was especially vicious. When Soca was still small but already super fast and super cute, Green would assert his alpha-ness with cruel violence. Despite these continuous affronts, Soca continuously tried to enjoy the dog park, perhaps thinking to give Green yet another chance. Finally she gave up. She wrote the dog park down as a loser hangout spot and would show interest in going only if it was completely empty. She also developed a hatred for huskies, which she is very good at profiling.

When the dog park was closed for COVID it was always empty. This meant Soca always wanted to go. And so we have the following video. Of course Soca and I were enjoying the sadness. Had we wanted to be happy at this moment we would have simply skipped off into the woods looking for rabbits.

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